Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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