my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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