Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
