i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
