Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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