I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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