do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
