You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Mom said you looked used
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
