when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
