After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
