in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
