oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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