He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
