These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
