Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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