Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The power of my boobs compel you
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
