I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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