I puked a lego.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
