I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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