Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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