The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
