I puked a lego.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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