she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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