Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
