Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
