dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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