marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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