you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
