We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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