Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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