Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
