Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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