Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
