When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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