ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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