i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize