no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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