you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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