I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think my moral compass just broke
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