Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
