I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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