wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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