I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
