I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
