ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just blew my weed a kiss
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
