I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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