have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
...so i touched it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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