Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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