why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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