I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
