I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
