Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
