This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
