return my video game
I didn't shave. On purpose
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
