the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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