Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
