Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
