so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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